Faith Like a Child

My three year old daughter has been asking me a lot of questions lately.  From questions about the reason we have weather to questions about how flowers grow.  It's as though when she turned three she woke up and realized that there are reasons behind everything, and she needs to understand all of it right now.

"Mommy, why is it raining?"

"Mommy,  why is the sunshine still up when I go to bed?"

And just the other day, "Mommy... how do babies get inside your belly?"

That one took some quick thinking. Thankfully,  answering "God tells us when the right time is for a baby to be in there" with some additional muttering and changing of the subject was enough to satisfy her.

But it's her questions about faith that have been surprising and challenging me the most.  Ben and I have been taking Abby to church since she was born, and we read the Bible to her every night before bed. We've taught her some praise songs and how to say some simple prayers. But lately, she has been much more interested in the songs and stories, and really wants to understand what it's all about.

Just last week Abby and I made a new calendar for the month of April. We do this every month, using a large piece of paper from a sketchbook, and we draw out a new calendar. This year April is special for two reasons. Her little brother is turning one, and Easter also falls in April this year. As we started to mark the special days Abby asked me, "Mommy, what's Easter?"

I answered her, "It's when we celebrate that Jesus died and rose again."

"Mommy, what's died?"

Ok. That's a hard one.  See, three year olds have no concept of death. The only way that Abby understands death right now is when she sees a dead bug on the ground and we call them "goners." So explaining to her about death and resurrection is well... complicated.

Then she asked me, "Why did the people hurt Jesus? Why did they rip his shirt? Were they bad people? Where did Jesus go when he died?"

Wow! I had no idea she had been listening that closely! But, I have to be honest, sometimes it's hard to find ways to answer her. Were the people who hurt Jesus bad? Well, yes and no. They shouldn't have hurt him, but they're no worse than the rest of us. Where did he go? Well, the creed says he descended into hell and then rose again... how do I put that in three-year-old terms?

 I have to take what she knows, and then explain a concept that people have struggled to understand for thousands of years in a way that she is able to grasp. I talked to her about how we all make bad choices, and how just like when she makes a bad choice at home and I have to give her a time out, that when she makes bad choices God also has to give her a time out, but that instead Jesus took the time out for her. She understands the concept of making a bad choice and receiving a punishment, but the idea of someone taking a punishment FOR her is difficult to grasp.

I don't always satisfy her with my answers. Sometimes she looks at me doubtfully, clearly wondering if I know what I'm talking about. But, just when I think she's getting discouraged,  she asks another question. "Mommy, is Jesus alive right now?"

That's the part that impresses me the most. Even when she doesn't get an answer that she completely understand, she still keeps listening and thinking and wondering. She keeps trusting me to tell her the truth.

And when I look at her, I think I finally start to understand what childlike faith is. What Jesus was getting at when he said, "I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." (Luke 18:17)

I've heard lots of sermons on this verse. Messages about how we should be as trusting as a small child, simply believing blindly the way that a child does. But I don't think it has anything to do with a blind or overly simplified faith.   My daughter isn't blindly believing anything. She's listening,  processing, and asking questions. She believes that there are answers, even if she doesn't understand them fully right now. She trusts that I will tell her the truth. And she never lets a complicated answer deter her from asking her next question.

And her pursuit of the truth has me looking in the mirror at my own faith.  Hers is the kind of faith that I want to have. I think that's the kind of faith that God wants me to have. He wants me to ask the tough questions, even when I don't like or don't understand the answer. He wants me to come to him and ask him why children get cancer, why mothers lose their babies, why tragedy is allowed to happen despite the prayers of thousands.  

See, that's where my faith struggle has been lately. I've taken it on faith my whole life that God is good. But then I read about a four year old boy, diagnosed with brain cancer just a few weeks ago, given no hope for a cure. Or about a baby girl born with a heart condition, waiting on a transplant, and despite the prayers of thousands, passing away before she ever received that new heart. And I start to ask, is God really good? If he is, why does he allow these tragedies? 

My gut reaction as an adult is to turn away from Him. To pretend that I don't have those kind of questions. I find myself skipping my devotion time and avoiding prayers. Instead of drawing closer to God, I put distance between us. I worry that maybe there aren't answers to the kind of questions that I have. 

But that's not the faith of a child. That's not what my three year old daughter would do. When she wants to know or understand something, she just keeps asking. Over and over. For as long as it takes to get an answer. 

I think that's the kind of faith I need. 

I may not always understand His answer. I may not always agree with His answer. But I have to keep asking. I have to keep turning to the One who made me, who knew me before I was born and who laid the foundations of the earth. The kingdom of heaven belongs to those with the faith of a child. A faith that asks the hard questions, seeks to understand, and trusts the One who has the answers.