Happy 3rd Anniversary to my husband Ben! It's hard to believe that we've already been married three years. When I look back at our wedding photos, it seems like it could have been just a few months ago. But in 3 years of marriage we've managed to move to a new state, buy our first home, and have a baby girl. That's a lot to pack into three years! So, in honor of our anniversary, I thought I'd share a few of the lessons I've learned over the last 3 years:
1. Marriage is not a honeymoon all the time... in fact, the honeymoon is over...well...when the honeymoon is over!! We've still got to get up everyday and go to work, make dinner, clean the house, and pay the bills. There's really nothing especially glamourous in it, but it makes me cherish our vacations and time away that much more. I've learned I can't live on a constant "high" of love like the movies try to portray. It's simple love in the every day living that matters.
2. Ben and I have very different ideas about what it means to clean the house. Ben likes things to be "clean" while I like things "in their place". Meaning, if the floors are vaccumed and the dirt is wiped off, it's clean to Ben and he's good to go... books can be laying around, shoes can be in all the corners of the floor, and if there is no hair/dirt, it's fine with him. Not so much for me. Most of the time, I don't really notice the dust or dog hair. What I notice are all of the THINGS laying around EVERYWHERE. If the floors are vaccuumed and our 1 year old's toys are still strewn about the house and all the dishes are out on the counters, I am going to have a freak out... Once we realized this major difference between the definition of a "clean house", we had way less arguments.
3. Ben does not complete me. Nor do I complete him. I do think we complement each other, but Ben and I are both flawed, imperfect people, and so there is no way in the world that a flawed, imperfect person can perfectly fulfill the dreams, desires, and expectations of someone else. I need Jesus to complete me... he's the only one that can fill that need in my life. I love Ben more than anything on this Earth, but if I count on him to make me whole, I am going to be disappointed.
4. Parenting with Ben has turned out to be the most challenging, exhilarating, wonderful experience of my life so far. It has drawn us closer together as a team, and also caused some of our loudest arguments. Lack of sleep and flying by the seat of your pants will do that to a couple. But I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Watching Ben as a dad is indescribably rewarding.
5. We've got a long way to go! 3 years in the grand scheme of things is nothing... we've got lots of ups and downs ahead of us. This year in our marriage we are purposing to pray and serve others together more often, and to spend time dreaming together about our future. I pray that God would give us the grace we need for each other to keep going strong!
