Before Josh was born I remember a few people asking me if I was worried about how much life would change going from one to two kids. At the time I said no, I wasn't especially worried, I figured it would all sort itself out eventually. Besides, what's the point of worrying about the inevitable? I once heard someone say that change, even a welcome change, brings stress and difficulties. And I knew that having a second baby would be a welcome change, albeit a stressful one at times.
For the most part, it hasn't been so bad. I've already been through the baby stage once before, so I am less worried about getting everything right this time. I think what I didn't anticipate was the guilt I would feel when both kids need me at the exact same time, and I am not able to meet both of their needs right away. They say the love in your heart multiplies when you welcome a second child, but I think I needed my hands to multiply as well. Sometimes there is just not enough of me to go around.
Like when Abby wants to eat lunch, and Josh decides he needs to nurse at that exact moment too, and when they aren't fed IMMEDIATELY both end up screaming and crying and I run around like a maniac trying to satisfy everyone. Or when Abby wants to go outside and play and I need to get her shoes on and Josh needs a diaper change at the same time, and again, when either of them has to wait for even 3 seconds, they end up screaming.
I've had to just accept that at any given point in time one of my children is most certainly going to be crying and/or screaming and tell myself that I am doing the best I can.
But it makes for a long day.
